Charles C. W. Cooke Holds a Hilarious Mirror Up to Grifter Conspiracists’ Idiocy – Twitchy

November 23, 2025

Conspiracy grifters don’t care if they sound ridiculous. In fact, that’s how they get paid. The more absurd the take, the more engagement. Tragically, some soft-headed people swallow it, causing real societal damage. We’re not here to discuss that part today.

Nope, we’re going to pull back the curtain on the hot grift-on-grift action. In this scene, grifter one, Candace Owens, make a batsh*t claim and grifter two, Dave the Comic or something amplifies it. Behold.

🚨 URGENT
Two days ago I was contacted by a high-ranking employee of the French Government. After determining this person’s position and proximity to the French couple, I have deemed the information they gave me to be credible enough to share publicly in the event that something…

— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) November 22, 2025

TL/DR; Macron has put out a hit on Candace’s life. Yeah, we know. But as the meme says, “but wait, there’s more!”

This is fucking wild. I’m hoping this isn’t true but if it is, they should know that taking out Candace Owens will turn all of us into Candace Owens. https://t.co/BspBel92Mu

— Dave Smith (@ComicDaveSmith) November 22, 2025

Here’s fellow tinfoil salesman, Dave Smith playing the ‘huge, if true’ card. If you’re laughing, congrats, you remain among the sane who enjoys a good clown show.

One more time, “but wait, there’s more!”

Conservative genius who has remained a voice for both true conservatism and sanity, really blows the cover off Owens’ totally real story and reveals the absolute farce that Owens and Smith are.

Don’t worry, it isn’t true. Last night I was at my local Outback Steakhouse, which is closing down, and the waitress, who was Persian, handed me a bunch of strange papers along with our menu. Innocently, I read through them, and, instead of finding some welcome deals on domestic…

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) November 23, 2025

The rest of the Tweet.

beers or a list of burgers with charming and stereotypical Australian names, I was shocked to discover an execution order signed by Mike Huckabee himself. The target: Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver, Ja’Marr Chase. It’s complicated, but the gist is that Candace Owens is an Israeli agent who has been working with the Pittsburgh Steelers to discredit Chase, with the ultimate aim of casting doubt on the official account of the Kennedy Assassination, and thereby allowing a betting syndicate in Idaho to win a +64000 parlay on Kalshi. As part of her role, Candace is obliged to pretend that she’s being targeted by the French government until January 5 of next year, when Marjorie Taylor Green resigns from Congress. If you listen carefully to Candace’s show, and you write down the 25th word of each of her sentences (the 24th on Tuesdays, and the 26th on November 30), you’ll find confirmation of this. I wish it weren’t true, but, sadly, the world is a dangerous place right now.

We don’t deserve Cooke.

This is funnier than anything @ComicDaveSmith has ever done… https://t.co/8rbtCnQZ3z

— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D. (@neoavatara) November 23, 2025

But he has ‘comic’ right there in the handle!

Ah.

Now I understand the whole Kalshi thing.

Wait a minute.

No, I don’t. https://t.co/qLYHRJKRTc

— tree hugging sister 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) November 23, 2025

No one does.