RON HART: Chuck Norris Dies At 86 As The Wussification Of America Continues

Most people know Chuck Norris as an action star; martial artist; and Internet macho, tough-guy legend. A Republican (of course). His manhood was beyond reproach. 

Legend has it, Chuck Norris once told a woman to calm down, and she did. He only used a stunt double for crying scenes in his movies.

Norris’ workout routine? While most people do push-ups, Chuck Norris doesn’t push himself up—he pushes the Earth down. This explains tectonic plate movement, earthquakes, and that one time your coffee spilled for no reason. That was leg day.

Today’s young man, by contrast, does not work out; he has a “wellness routine.” He works on his self-awareness and flexibility, and has a podcast queue that includes guided meditation apps. He does not shave; he has a “skincare routine.” He texts in complete sentences, beginning with your name. An alarming number of men now have vision boards. (RELATED: Chuck Norris Reportedly Rushed To Hospital For Medical Emergency)

This wuss male votes Democrat because he is afraid to offend anyone. He moisturizes and uses the words “his journey” a lot. There is a faint suspicion that he’s both evolving and way behind schedule.

Whether this represents progress or just a softness that threatens our country, it’s an issue. These guys spout that they want to change the world, but they can’t change a flat tire.

Chuck Norris, Charlton Heston and the John Wayne types are mostly gone. In the meantime, if you’re looking for the diminished modern American male, try the nearest coffee shop. He’ll be the one with stickers on his laptop and a reusable water bottle. But do not rush up with a firm handshake; he recently started working on his boundaries.

You would never see Chuck Norris in a coffee shop eating a muffin. He woke up at 5 a.m., chopped wood, fought off wolves, and ate a breakfast made entirely of meat and unresolved anger.

Like many of his generation, he might not be replaced in America’s woke world that has wussified men to the point of peril. There has been a shocking decline of manhood in America—a crisis so severe that sales of decorative throw pillows labeled “Live, Laugh, Love” have surpassed sales of power tools.

It’s a world where men once built railroads, fought bears, and grilled dinner without asking, “Does anyone have any food allergies?” 

That’s right. Today’s man may not wrestle bears—but he will attend couples therapy and remember your birthday without Facebook’s help.

Some thought leaders have addressed this weak male epidemic. Scott Calloway has done great work on why young men are struggling. (RELATED: Chuck Norris Makes 83-Year-Old Grandmother’s Day After Awarding Her Fifth-Degree Black Belt In Karate)

Trump is of the Chuck Norris generation, where toughness and resolve matter. Trump’s “excursion” into Iran is indicative of his manhood. However it turns out, you have to admit Trump had the guts to do what 47 years of presidents said they would do: stop Iran from getting nukes. Trump is predictable. It was in the brochure when we elected him. Trump and Chuck Norris jokes are almost interchangeable. It should surprise no one if Trump dumps the older Ayatollah for a younger, hotter Ayatollah.

Chuck Norris helped Trump. The Iranian regime’s leadership may no longer have any reason to die. The Mullahs were informed less than 72 hours after his passing that there are no more virgins in Heaven.

Even Dems used to be tough. Now they are all Tim Walz and Gavin Newsoms, with jazz hands and who talk in woke riddles. Mayor Pete is burnishing his man card now in anticipation of running for president. Word is that he ate at a diner. He might be the most manly of all of them. 

It is a political issue for Dems. Axios warned that Democrats are so far left and so soft that they may never get back to the center. Pundits all say that the Democratic Party is no longer the party of John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton. So if the Democrats will go back to being the party of extramarital sex, they’ll appeal to the middle of the country. If you ever doubted the benefits of sexual conquests, smoking, drinking booze, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, keep in mind that Keith Richards just outlived Chuck Norris. (RELATED: GOP Rep Scott Perry Takes Tim Walz To Task Over Letting Illegal Immigrant Truckers Get Licenses)

Times have changed. In his autobiography 25 years ago, President Obama praised lion hunting and tribal customs of proving one’s manhood by killing a lion with a spear. Of course, he’s updating the next edition where he hunts rare lace doilies while antiquing in Martha’s Vineyard.

To be fair, Chuck Norris wasn’t perfect. One time I listened to his advice and I got stuck with a Total Gym.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron does radio and TV commentary. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on X.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.