DUKE: Israel Ignites New Online War After Blocking Catholic Cardinal From Holy Site

Hey y’all, welcome back to Unfit to Print. 

I hope everyone has a blessed Holy Week!

BLIND FAITH 

Israeli police ignited an international incident Sunday when they denied Cardinal Pierbattista Pizzaballa, the highest official in the Catholic Church in Jerusalem, from celebrating a small Palm Sunday Mass at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. 

Palm Sunday is the start of Holy Week and commemorates Jesus’s arrival in Jerusalem ahead of His arrest, trial, and crucifixion. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is believed to have been built over the site of Jesus’s crucifixion and burial, making it one of the holiest Christian sites in the world.

Cardinal Pizzaballa said the decision to prohibit him from celebrating Mass was “a manifestly unreasonable and grossly disproportionate measure.” 

Israeli officials claimed Pizzaballa was blocked for safety reasons, noting that shrapnel from an intercepted Iranian missile weeks earlier had fallen near the Church. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that the decision was made out of “special concern for [Pizzaballa’s] safety” but acknowledged that a plan was being developed to allow Church leaders access to holy sites in the coming days. 

Statements from world leaders and U.S. officials poured in criticizing the Israeli police for not allowing Cardinal Pizzaballa the ability to hold a private ceremony. Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee said it was an “unfortunate overreach already having major repercussions around the world” and noted that current guidelines only prevent gatherings of 50 people or larger. Cardinal Pizzaballa was with a small group, according to reports. 

The Daily Caller’s White House Correspondent Reagan Reese asked press secretary Karoline Leavitt if they had contacted Israeli officials to discuss the incident. Leavitt said they had reached out to express their concerns, adding, “We want worshipers to be able to access these holy sites. Of course, safety is a top priority, but we understand Israel is working on those security measures to reopen the sites throughout Holy Week, and that’s something that we’re appreciative of.” 

The incident sparked online debate over whether or not Israel’s actions were justified. Lahav Harkov, a reporter for Jewish Insider, noted there is a difference between mass prayer and allowing clergy to conduct prayers on their own. 

“Israel Police allowed the Western Wall rabbi to do so during the war … and is not providing an answer as to why Cardinal Pizaballa can’t do the same,” she reported. 

She added, “This is a totally unnecessary diplomatic issue for Israel when so much else is happening.”

Pro-Iran War commentator Mark Levin, meanwhile, retweeted James Lindsay stating that Pizzaballa being blocked from the Holy Sepulchre was “never a real story” and suggesting that people were being “manipulated” by it into hating Israel. 

EVERY MAN — OR THING — AT NO KINGS

The third edition of the “No Kings” protests swept the country this past weekend and were somehow wackier than the first two iterations. 

Angela Stanton King tweeted a clip of protesters in Atlanta that featured a severely sunburnt and obese woman in a wheelchair wearing a leather tube top and some kind of cage facemask. 

“I’m watching this No Kings protest in Atlanta against President Trump and his administration right now and I genuinely can’t tell if this is a protest or the villain casting call for a low-budget Marvel movie,” she observed. 

The protests were less silly and more serious in several locales where demonstrators attacked police officers and called for revolutions. 

A group near Times Square in New York City held hammer and sickle flags and chanted, “there is only one solution, communist revolution.” In Los Angeles, about 1,000 agitators swarmed a federal building and reportedly launched rocks and concrete blocks at police. In Portland, three people were arrested on assault and criminal mischief charges. 

STREET SWEEPING

It’s been one year since President Donald Trump launched a task force to make the nation’s capital safe again, and the results speak for themselves. According to exclusive reporting from the Daily Caller, a combination of federal law enforcement officers and national guardsmen have made more than 11,000 arrests and have cleared the city of 142 homeless encampments. 

A White House official told the Daily Caller that there are no known encampments on National Park Service (NPS) property and that more than 350 homeless individuals have been connected with mental health services. 

Since March 28, 2024, homicide has fallen 61%, motor vehicle theft decreased by 53% and robbery fell by 45% in Washington, D.C. 

TICKET TO NOWHERE 

Members of Congress have fled D.C. in the middle of the partial Department of Homeland Security (DHS) shutdown. 

Five senators passed a funding bill via unanimous consent at two o’clock in the morning Friday before some decided to follow their colleagues home during the two-week recess. The bill would fund most of DHS except for immigration enforcement and deportation operations through September. However, House Republicans say they’re committed to their bill, which funds all of DHS —including Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Protection (CBP) — through May 22. 

Senate Majority Leader John Thune was spotted leaving D.C. on Friday, while Republican South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham was captured enjoying a vacation at Disney World. Graham told the Caller he was invited to lunch in Florida with Steve Witkoff and others to discuss normalizing relations between Saudi Arabia and Israel before meeting friends at the “Most Magical Place on Earth.” 

“I voted 7 times to fully fund the government. Call a Democrat,” he added. 

Graham and his bubble wand were back in South Carolina on Sunday. 

Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz was also on his way out of town Friday for a planned appearance at CPAC, and Democratic California Rep. Robert Garcia was seen enjoying drinks at a Las Vegas casino over the weekend. Garcia said he had lunch with his father and blamed Speaker Mike Johnson for sending Congress home. 

TSA workers went without pay for over six weeks until President Donald Trump signed an executive order instructing DHS to pay them. 

SALAD FINGERS

It’s not campaign season without some immensely nauseating media coverage. Well, it’s officially started with this completely inane — yet presented as groundbreaking — anecdote about how former Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel eats his salads: 

“He rips open its clear clamshell container with two hands. He grabs the ramekin of the dressing. He pours it across the salad. Then he picks up the salad container, shaking it with an intensity and ferocity that forces the balsamic throughout, giving no quarter to the greens and grilled chicken,” Politico’s Adam Wren reports. 

“How Rahm eats a salad,” the story continues, “is how he does anything and everything: with intent and with verve and without mercy.” 

Take a backseat, Kamala Harris’s rainbow jacket. Rahm’s salad strategy has taken center stage.

“Crucial 2028 takeaway here: you all are gonna be reading a lot of @adamwren next coupla years,” Wren’s colleague, Jonathan Martin, tweeted. 

For better or for worse, I suppose.