At Twitchy, there’s nothing we love more than a juicy social media feud. And we’ve had a good share of them this week. President Trump and Elon Musk have been going at it so hard, poor JD Vance must feel like a kid caught in the middle of a nasty divorce. And in the world of sports, Simone Biles was feeling so froggy last night, she decided to have a leap at Riley Gaines.
In fairness, we probably can’t call that second one a ‘feud.’ It was more like a brutal beatdown delivered by Gaines and the rest of X after Biles claimed that men belong in women’s sports (now that she doesn’t have to compete against them, that is).
These have been fun to enjoy with a bowl of popcorn, but we want a feud with some meat on the bones, you know? Something with some potentially world-ending consequences. A feud that can shake the pillars of Heaven.
Who better to turn to for that than a sarcastic volcano and the world’s best-known fracture in the Earth’s crust?
Without any further ado, it brings us great pleasure to present to you the feud to end all feuds:
The San Andreas Fault vs. Mount St. Helens.
Next up will be the feud between myself and @MtStHelensWA
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 6, 2025
With that open declaration of war from the continental fissure, the gauntlet had been laid down.
And if you know Mount St. Helens, she wasn’t about to let this challenge go unanswered. America’s favorite active stratovolcano had been busy showing solidarity with her fellow mountains that had erupted this week, like Italy’s Mount Etna, but when she saw this clear provocation, she fired back … HARD.
You are just a little pocket pu**y https://t.co/XhIAY9Kv0j
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) June 6, 2025
Whoa! A roundhouse from ‘Helen’ right out of the gate!
‘Andy’ may have started having second thoughts about igniting this conflagration.
what
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 6, 2025
Hey, you started it, kid. Don’t poke the volcano if you can’t handle the ash.
Helen didn’t back down an inch.
You are a little b***h
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) June 6, 2025
There was no retreating now, and Andy knew it. He pulled out some big guns of his own.
remember what you looked like before you let yourself go? https://t.co/aDLoEuQgDD pic.twitter.com/0ubV8tUvBi
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 6, 2025
Uh-oh. Going after a woman’s looks. Talk about crossing the Rubicon. Some things simply cannot be unsaid.
Helen took that one personally, as any lady would.
My glow-up is volcanic, buddy—your fault line is just a wrinkle in the dirt! https://t.co/C1acShVpoa
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) June 7, 2025
Yep. Things were starting to spin wildly out of control at this point.
Mt St. Helens comes in with a
POWERFUL RIGHT HOOK 🤼♂️ 🥊— Chays Jensen (@TweetsFromChays) June 7, 2025
And then she followed up with a dig at Andy’s fame relative to hers.
The world know me more than you https://t.co/uw7Xw0AJys
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) June 6, 2025
That was a solid strike, but Helen’s rumblings showed she was starting to lose her composure.
She even started lashing out at innocent great lakes who were just passing by, minding their own business.
You in yet? https://t.co/Ndw31ICgyy pic.twitter.com/7vfhvotiXk
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) June 6, 2025
Yikes. That is some collateral damage right there.
Andy must have known that he had gotten to Helen, though. He quickly pressed his advantage.
I mean look at how loose your crater is… https://t.co/oNKPfqjdPI
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 6, 2025
Eep.
just wait a few million years until I come up there and your dormant a** will erode, and you’ll look like schist (more than you already do!) https://t.co/YS3PjRyQCF
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 7, 2025
Just repeated body blows from Andy. He knew he had the upper hand.
The feud had officially turned uglier than the cast of The View.
https://t.co/h3hBGQUKoG pic.twitter.com/SDflu8ZjTt
— Mike (@KinitoinTexas) June 7, 2025
As a finishing blow, Andy decided to post a poll to ask X who was winning.
Choose Your Fighter
— The San Andreas Fault (@sanandreafault) June 7, 2025
There are still several hours left in the poll, but at the time of this writing, Andy was running away with it, beating Helen nearly 70-30 percent in the votes.
For the moment, Helen appears to have retreated to her corner. We might even say she has gone … dormant.
[Ba-dum-tsss!]
If we know her, though, she will be back soon with a new eruption of snarky retorts against her subterranean foe.
But no matter who ultimately comes out on top in the Battle of Geological Titans, the real winners of this feud were all of us on X.
The greatest fight on the planet right now is between these two power houses:
🏔️ 🆚〽️
Who wins? https://t.co/LWgq9IFi50— Husker Gal in WY (@RanaePape) June 7, 2025
as far as I’m concerned this is thee only twitter feud https://t.co/vnVEHUK8c0
— The Big Vrouwbowski (@goodwifey) June 7, 2025
This might be my favorite TwitterX beef ever https://t.co/Lpcusqlsuu
— The River Nix (@NixAshes) June 6, 2025
I’m never, EVER deleting this app
— Red Blooded Sports Historian (@RedBloodSports) June 6, 2025
Nope. Neither are we. This is the content we are here for.
We hope the feud continues. Because, let’s face it, the Sweet Meteor O’ Death hasn’t been delivering and just likes to tease us over and over again.
Thankfully, Mount St. Helens and The San Andreas Fault know what the people want: snarky ultraviolence.