CALIFORNIA’S CAPSLOCK CRUSADER | The American Spectator

SO, GAVIN NEWSOM WANTS TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS NOW? HIS PRESS OFFICE — A TAXPAYER-FUNDED, IMAGE-OBSESSED WAR ROOM POSING AS A STATE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE — HAS DECIDED TO PARROT PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ONLINE STYLE, RIGHT DOWN TO THE BLUSTER AND BOMBAST. BUT WHILE DONALD TRUMP HAS “BLAZED TRAILS ONLINE,” AS POLITICO WROTE WEDNESDAY IN THEIR GIDDY PROMOTION OF NEWSOM’S CO-OPTED TIRADES, ALL GAVIN’S DOING IS FLAILING THROUGH THE FUNHOUSE, HOPING A COSTUME WILL GET HIM INTO THE WHITE HOUSE.

MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT DONALD J. WOULD CONSIDER “GIVING AWAY” THE FREE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO HIS “BEST FRIEND” VLADIMIR PUTIN — ALL BECAUSE I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, STOLE THE CAMERAS THIS WEEK WITH “THE MAPS.” NOW, OBVIOUSLY, NOT EVEN THE “TACO PRESIDENT” COULD BE THAT STUPID,…

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 15, 2025

I’M HOLDING UP A MIRROR TO YOU, GOVERNOR. WELCOME TO THE BIG TENT CIRCUS. AND NO, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE KIND OF BIG TENT POLITICAL PARTY REQUIRED TO REACH THE PRESIDENCY.

I’M TALKING ABOUT THE KIND OF CIRCUS WHERE THE RINGLEADER THINKS IF HE YELLS LOUD ENOUGH, THE CROWD WON’T NOTICE THE TIGER IS MISSING, THE TENT IS ON FIRE, AND THE POPCORN MACHINE IS BEING RAIDED BY RATS. THAT’S YOUR CALIFORNIA, GOVERNOR. A STAGE SHOW OF DISTRACTION, DYSFUNCTION, AND DECLINE.

YOUR OFFICE MOCKS PRESIDENT TRUMP WITH THIRD-RATE NICKNAMES FOR FOX NEWS HOSTS. DANA “DING DONG” PERINO MAY ROLL OFF THE TONGUE LIKE BUFFET SHRIMP ON THE WAY BACK UP — AT LEAST THAT ONE SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TRIED. BUT THEN YOU DROPPED “GARBAGEMAN” GREG GUTFELD AND MISSED THE LAYUP OF A LIFETIME.

YOU HAD GREG GUTFELD IN YOUR GEL-CLOGGED CROSSHAIRS, AND INSTEAD OF GOING WITH SOMETHING WITH A STING, LIKE “GREG GUTLESS,” YOU CALLED HIM A GARBAGEMAN?

DO YOU THINK THAT’S AN INSULT? MOST AMERICANS ACTUALLY RESPECT SANITATION WORKERS — UNLIKE THE COASTAL ELITES YOU PANDER TO AT WINE TASTINGS AND NAPA FUNDRAISERS. DID NO ONE IN YOUR OFFICE LEARN A SINGLE THING FROM THE 2024 ELECTION?

DANA “DING DONG” PERINO (NEVER HEARD OF HER UNTIL TODAY!) IS MELTING DOWN BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM! FOX HATES THAT I AM AMERICA’S MOST FAVORITE GOVERNOR (“RATINGS KING”) SAVING AMERICA — WHILE TRUMP CAN’T EVEN CONQUER THE “BIG” STAIRS ON AIR FORCE ONE ANYMORE!!! TRUMP HAS…

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 19, 2025

I SELDOM WATCH LOW-RATED “GARBAGEMAN” GREG GUTFELD BUT, WHEN I DO, I MARVEL AT THE FAKE LAUGHTER ON THE SHOW. IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD “LAUGH MACHINE,” IT’S SO OBNOXIOUS AND DISGUSTING, JUST LIKE HIM, ALWAYS LAUGHING NO MATTER WHAT IS SAID. REAL PATRIOTS HATE IT WHEN FOX (“EDITS THE…

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) August 20, 2025

REMEMBER WHEN JOE BIDEN CALLED TRUMP SUPPORTERS “GARBAGE?” AND THEN DONALD TRUMP SHOWED UP TO HIS RALLY DRESSED AS A GARBAGEMAN — REFLECTIVE ORANGE VEST, RIDING IN A TRASH TRUCK DECORATED WITH A MAGA CAMPAIGN SIGN AND AN AMERICAN FLAG — AND TURNED THAT ELITIST SMEAR INTO A BLUE-COLLAR WAR CRY?

NOW, SPEAKING OF TRASH — LET’S DIG DEEPER INTO YOUR CALIFORNIA, GOVERNOR. WHILE YOU ROLLED OUT THE RED CARPET FOR XI JINPING, YOU DIDN’T ROLL OUT REAL HELP FOR THE HOMELESS. INSTEAD, YOU CLEANED UP SAN FRANCISCO’S STREETS JUST TO PUT ON A SHOW FOR CHINA. NOT A SOLUTION — JUST A COSMETIC COVER-UP FOR A CONNIVING COMMUNIST.

YOU’RE TOO FOCUSED ON TRYING TO BURN TRUMP — WEREN’T CALIFORNIANS JUST GETTING ROASTED BY WILDFIRES THAT RAGED OUT OF CONTROL UNDER YOUR WATCH? YOUR CLIMATE POLICIES? HALF-BAKED AT BEST, A DISASTER AT WORSE. AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE COVID CHAOS. YOU LOCKED DOWN BUSINESSES WHILE YOU DINED AT FRENCH LAUNDRY. YOU FORCED KIDS INTO MASKS WHILE YOU SIPPED WINE WITHOUT ONE. YOU TURNED A STATE KNOWN FOR DREAMS INTO A NIGHTMARE OF NEEDLES, TENTS, AND U-HAULS.

THIS IS STILL THE SAME GAVIN WHO FACED A RECALL ELECTION IN 2021. BUT NONE OF THAT STOPS YOU FROM FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR OWN MUGSHOT MOMENT. WE SEE YOU. WE KNOW YOU — AND MANY OTHER DEMOCRATS — WANT TO BE “PERSECUTED” LIKE TRUMP. YOU WANT THE FLASHBULBS, THE MERCH, THE DRAMA — ANYTHING TO COVER THE FACT THAT YOU’RE A FAILURE AT GOVERNING AND A FRAUD AS A FIGHTER.

YOU’RE NOT A RIVAL TO TRUMP. YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER REACTION TO HIM — SCRIPTED, STAGED, AND SOFT. HE TOOK SLINGS AND ARROWS TO FIX THE COUNTRY. YOU’RE TOO BUSY PLAYING DIGITAL DRESS-UP TO DISGUISE YOUR POOR RECORD.

IF YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED, DON’T WORRY, YOU WILL BE. JUST NOT FOR THE REASON YOU’D HOPE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

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Julianna Frieman is a writer based in North Carolina. She received her bachelor’s degree in political science from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She is pursuing her master’s degree in Communications (Digital Strategy) at the University of Florida. Her work has been published by the Daily Caller, The American Spectator, and The Federalist. Follow her on X at @juliannafrieman.