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Avoiding a martyr complex

Avoiding a martyr complex

As a new Christian, freshly converted to Christ from an addiction in my early 30s, I suddenly found my desire for alcohol replaced with a new-found thirst for reading. Besides the Scriptures, I began to devour all kinds of Christian books, but developed a special love for biographies.

I was totally captivated by what motivated this disparate bunch, male and female, living in different centuries, often with quite different theological positions, but united by one thing: a passion for Christ and his gospel coupled with a steely determination to hold faithfully to the Word of God. Moreover, they had a burning desire to live (and die if needs be) to make Christ known to others.

With embarrassment, I admit to having occasional romantic daydreams of leaving this world prematurely in a blaze of glory. I envisioned the newspaper where I was formerly employed carrying the headlines: ‘Bournemouth street preacher attacked by group of angry holiday makers!’ Well, it wasn’t to be, and years later I have what I now consider the harder task: maintaining the passion of my spiritual youth four decades later.

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