CNA Staff, Jun 29, 2025 /
07:00 am
During her senior year of high school, Catholic speaker and author Kim Zember realized she had a sexual attraction to women. She went on to live a hidden life for years — dating men publicly but dating women secretly. Eventually, she ended up solely in relationships with women.
A decade later she found herself increasingly unhappy and one day she threw up her hands and asked God to enter her life. Now, 11 years after experiencing transformation, she’s sharing her conversations with other people who have dealt with sexual identity and gender confusion in a new podcast on EWTN called “Here I AM Stories.”
“In the tenderness of God, I just felt like he said, ‘I want you to share other people’s stories. You’re not the only one,’” Zember told CNA.
According to EWTN, the podcast “highlights raw voices, radical lives, and real stories of those who left LGBT identities for a greater eternal purpose.” It airs weekly on Mondays during the month of June and then beginning in July, two episodes will be aired every month.
“These are people who have been walking it out,” Zember said. “This is not stories of perfection.”
Four episodes of the podcast have already been released. One particularly powerful episode was a conversation with Jessica Rose, who identified as a male for seven years, battled depression, and attempted suicide until she gave her life to Christ.
Another episode features the story of Angel Colon, who survived the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting where 49 lives were lost. Despite being shot multiple times, he survived and credits the miracle to God, changing his way of life.
Zember’s own story follows a similar pattern as the guests she speaks with in her podcast. She grew up in what she says was a “normal” Catholic household with two older brothers and parents who were high school sweethearts. She received all her sacraments but admitted that she grew up without having a relationship with Jesus.
She shared that she saw God like a “cop that kind of just kept tally of all the things I was doing, good or bad, and was kind of calculating everything. So that was kind of challenging because I heard all the time like, ‘God loves you,’ ‘God’s for you,’ but I didn’t experience that.”
Despite having a decent childhood, Zember said she did not have a “good, tender father” and did not trust men. As a senior in high school, she longed for a relationship and acted upon her attraction to women.
“My senior year in high school I was like, ‘You know what? I don’t feel safe with men, but I feel safe with women and I’m attracted and I don’t know what that means, but I’m going to take a step,’” she recalled. “And [in] my senior year in high school I acted on these desires towards women with one of my best friends and that changed everything for me.”
From there she began dating women in private. Believing that what she was doing was wrong, she sought a Catholic counselor at age 18 and was affirmed in her homosexual identity. From there, she came out publicly and no longer hid the fact that she was dating women. It wasn’t until Oct. 17, 2014 — after a decade of living a gay lifestyle — that she “cried out to the Lord and said, ‘I can’t do this.’”
She recalled telling God: “‘I’ve heard about you my whole life. I’ve read about you my whole life but I need to experience you now. And so I need you to show up.’ And it might sound horrible but I was like, ‘I need you to show up and I need you to show up now because if you don’t show up and show me that you’re good, I will go to someone or something else, like I have my entire life. So, I’m giving you your one shot, God.’”
“And I’m telling you, he showed up. He showed up that evening in a way that I will never forget,” Zember shared. “Oct. 17 feels sometimes like my birthday — though I was born on Dec. 22 — that encounter I had with God marked me in a way … that I’ve never been the same.”
In that moment Zember said she experienced the “tangible love of God” and “he has been faithful every day since then.”
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“Also in revealing his character and nature, he has shown me that he’s the one my heart has been searching for. He has shown me that he is the one, that God himself, that made man in Jesus Christ, that he is the love of my life that I’ve desired.”
Zember now lives in freedom from her struggle with same-sex attraction and helps others who face similar battles to find their true identity in Christ.
When asked what the Church can do to better minister to those struggling with gender and sexual identity issues, she said: “I think as a Church, we need to recognize again our own unworthiness; no matter what Jesus has already saved us from, we still need him.”
“If we’d recognize our own brokenness and our own need for Jesus, I think we’d be able to receive other people in their need for him, too. We’d stop trying to fix people, and we’d actually try to walk with one another,” she added. “We’d try to walk with one another in our brokenness to Christ, the only one who can heal, deliver, make whole, and set free.”
As for her hopes for the new podcast, she said she hopes it would show people “that we have a good Father” and “that people would give Jesus a try — a real one.”
“My hope is that people will say, ‘Wait a minute, if Jesus was that good in their life, maybe he wants to be that good in mine too’ — in whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be homosexuality or identity confusion. It could be you holding on too tightly to something. It could be you needing a career and if you don’t get it, you don’t know who you are. It’s all the longings of our heart to be seen, known, loved, chosen, and desired, and how we try to go to the things of this world to fill those when it’s actually the very one who created us that wants to fill those.”
Francesca is a staff reporter for Catholic News Agency. She received her degree in Communications with an emphasis in Digital Media from the University of Colorado – Denver. She is also in charge of the social media for Catholic News Agency.
