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DOJ Channels Donald Trump In Hilarious Post About the Subway Slinger – Twitchy

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August 15, 2025
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DOJ Channels Donald Trump In Hilarious Post About the Subway Slinger – Twitchy

Are y’all tired of reading about the Subway sandwich-slinging seditionist yet? 

Good, because we’re not tired of writing about him. 

By now, of course, we all know the details. Some paralegal who worked for the DOJ thought it would be a brilliant idea to hurl his hoagie at federal agents. In what might be one of the stupiest games of FAFO we’ve witnessed in recent years, that employee has now been dismissed, arrested, and hit with felony charges for assaulting federal agents. 





But just because we all know about the story doesn’t mean we have to stop having fun at his expense. 

Today, for example, the X account of the Department of Justice did its best Donald Trump impersonation from The Apprentice, telling this former DOJ staffer all about the state of his employment.  

Boom, there it is. The boss would be so proud.

Adios. Sayonara. Auf Wiedersehen. Don’t bother collecting your things. They’ll be sent to you … maybe. 

And he isn’t even going to get a tearful farewell parade like all of those cashiered State Department employees in July.

(This writer apologizes for including his own post, but it’s a really beautiful song.)

That’s too bad for him. With any luck, though, the former DOJer (whose name is Sean Charles Dunn) will have plenty of time to reflect on his heinous crimes against sandwiches in prison. 

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They need a BIG raise. Last night, the person running the X account of The White House also posted a hilarious pixel art video of deportation flights taking off over and over. 

The DOJ account must have seen that one and decided to step up its game accordingly. 

Clearly, these social media teams know what will trigger unhinged leftist outrage. The DOJ post did exactly that, which, of course, only makes the post even funnier. 

Aww. Look at the poor Obama staffer. 

Bruen can’t deal with the fact that the administration he worked for has been completely rejected in 2025, so he has to go back to the tired, dried-up well of January 6. 

This person must prefer that his tax dollars go to transing children and putting illegal immigrants up in luxury New York hotels. 

We’ll put it in terms that poster can understand:





‘Don’t start none, won’t be none.’

Uhhh … wut? Yikes. 

So, we’re just going to back away slowly from that deranged person. No loud noises or sudden movements. 

The lunatic left aside, lots of people had fun with the fact that the DOJ knows how to have fun on social media, while also getting the job done. 

Some Subway franchise owner in Washington, DC, has the chance to run the funniest promotion EVER.

HA! 

Eep. 

Don’t drop the soap. 





Right? 

We voted for all of these policies, sure, but we didn’t know that our vote also meant endless entertainment at the expense of the left. 

That might have been the worst crime of all. 

‘Was,’ as in his career is as dead as a Monty Python parrot. 

Yeeted it into oblivion. 

We can’t wait to see what the DHS X account comes up with to follow this. 

You can say that again! 

We’re not even fully into the ‘Golden Age’ yet. We’re just six months along in this administration.

If the X accounts of The White House, DOJ, DHS, and other federal agencies can make winning this much fun (and send the left into shame spirals and temper tantrums while they’re at it), the next three and a half years are going to be EPIC. 





Buckle up. 

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Related:

Captain Underpants? South Carolina Gubernatorial Candidate Caught In WILD Arrest Video

‘Crime Is Unfixable’ Is a Leftist Lie: Winning Is a Big, Yellow Caterpillar Taking Out the Trash

You Know Who ELSE Got a Cover? X Has Some Fun With Time Magazine’s Zohran Mamdani Cover Story

‘I Don’t Even Know What You DO for a Living’: Scott Jennings Nukes Julie Roginsky From Orbit

‘They Have Gone Crazy’: Trump Says What We’re All Thinking About the State of the Democrat Party


Editor’s Note: Every single day, here at Twitchy, we will stand up and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT against the radical left — especially ones using sandwiches as a deadly weapon — and deliver the conservative reporting our readers deserve.

Help us continue to tell the truth about the Trump administration and its successes. Join Twitchy VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.





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