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Hackers Compromise UPenn Computer Systems, Send Out Hilarious ‘Non-Fundraising’ Email – Twitchy

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October 31, 2025
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Hackers Compromise UPenn Computer Systems, Send Out Hilarious 'Non-Fundraising' Email – Twitchy

We want to make it very clear that we here at Twitchy do not in any way condone or support hackers who attack the computer systems of our nation’s institutions. 





We do, however, wholeheartedly support humor, particularly when that humor tells a truth that the left does not want America to see. 

So, our dismay at a report from Chris Rufo that the computer systems at the University of Pennsylvania had been compromised this morning was somewhat alleviated when we saw the hilarious message that the hackers sent out to countless alumni, boosters, and others earlier today. 

[Warning for some NSFW language in the post below.]

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

We’ve spent hours looking for the lie in the email message, but we have yet to find one. 

We particularly love the closing line, ‘Please stop giving us money.’

One notable UPenn alum who really appreciated the honesty was Paula Scanlon, who was forced to accept male swimmer Will Thomas onto her team and into her locker room. And if she or her teammates tried to protest, UPenn mandated psychological re-education for them. 

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Maybe the hackers can also send her an official apology on university letterhead while they’re at it. 

We share that sentiment as well. 

None detected. 

They should bronze the letter and hang it right next to the Rocky Balboa statue in front of the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. 

It’s like poetry. 

Now, now. We can neither confirm nor deny that any of the troll masters in the Trump administration — or the President himself — had anything to do with this hack.

(But it would be even more hilarious if they did.)

Even Elon Musk got a kick out of it.

Kind of perfect, isn’t it? 

Then again, maybe Musk and his AI creations were behind the whole thing. 





We can’t rule that out. 

We can guarantee that this thought never once crossed the minds of anyone in the UPenn administration. 

LOL. Even if you don’t speak Latin, that university motto is pretty easy to translate. 

We shed actual tears. 

(Shh, don’t tell anyone that they were tears of laughter.)

HA! 

Were Biden and his infernal signature machine anywhere in the vicinity of Philadelphia this morning? 

If this is true, that individual would be the greatest whistleblower EVER. 





Once again, we simply cannot condone or encourage this sort of illegal activity. 

We sincerely hope that the hackers are caught and punished to the full extent of the law. 

In this case, we hope that punishment consists of a couple of free cheesesteaks, a few cold Yuenglings, and tickets to a Flyers game. 

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