Make the Census Great Again: Stop Counting Illegal Aliens | The American Spectator

Imagine a typical American household: Ma, Pa, a son, and two daughters. Everyone loves the Winslows of Yardley, Pennsylvania.

One evening, these five suburbanites return home from the movies. The Winslows walk into their kitchen and discover four illegal aliens feasting on the dinner that the family had planned to heat up and enjoy after the film. Too bad. The illegal aliens beat them to it. They devoured the entire meal and clogged the sink with dirty dishes, pots, and pans.

Now, if the Winslows followed the Democrat Party’s model, they would add these illegals to their household, find places for them to sleep, and, henceforth, serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner — not for five people, but for nine.

Everyone is welcome!

Moreover, the Winslows would report their family size to the authorities as nine individuals and apply for federal grants to feed, clothe, educate, and medicate the four illegal aliens now under their roof.

However, if the Winslows pursued the Republican Party’s model, they would tell the illegal aliens to leave, give them 30 seconds to get hopping, and then — if necessary — call the police to arrest them, escort these foreign invaders from their property, and hand them to ICE for deportation from whence they came.

President Donald J. Trump’s bold, badly needed, and much-welcome Census-reform effort follows the Republican Party model described above: Illegal aliens have invaded America in enormous numbers. Most recently, southwest border incursions totaled 8,785,843 under Joe Biden’s four-year reign of border destruction, versus 2,987,925 during Trump 45’s presidency. Biden’s yank-the-back-door-from-the-hinges policy shoved this number up 294 percent, compared to Trump’s first term, Customs and Border Protection reports.

Because Democrats have used these illegal aliens to swell local, state, and national population figures, Trump announced Thursday morning, via Truth Social:

I have instructed our Department of Commerce to immediately begin work on a new and highly accurate CENSUS based on modern day facts and figures and, importantly, using the results and information gained from the Presidential Election of 2024. People who are in our Country illegally WILL NOT BE COUNTED IN THE CENSUS. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

A U.S. Commerce Department spokesman told me: “The Census Bureau will immediately adopt modern technology tools for use in the Census to better understand our robust Census data. We will accurately analyze the data to reflect the number of legal residents in the United States.”

The Trump administration’s recalculated Census will exclude illegal aliens from the total populations of each state and, thus, the entire country. Those who have broken into America with neither permission nor papers will not and should not be enumerated as part of this nation — any more than the four illegal aliens who busted into the Winslows’ home and gobbled down their dinner should be considered members of that family. (RELATED: Five Quick Things: Correcting A Botched Census? I Voted For That!)

Since illegal aliens have no right to be in America, do not belong here, and already are self-deporting and being deported, they absolutely must vanish from this updated Census.

This is especially true regarding the counting of heads for legislative apportionment. Since illegal aliens cannot vote for city councilmen, state representatives, U.S. House members, or U.S. senators, it logically follows that they should be excluded from those who legally populate these corresponding legislative districts. Illegal aliens have no place in this society, and ICE must boot every one of them as soon as physically possible. Since they do not belong here and are heading home, they clearly should not be enumerated as legislative constituents.

Likewise, illegal aliens should be barred from local and state populations when the federal government distributes funds for public services. Illegal aliens have no right to federal education, highway, or healthcare dollars. They should not be counted among candidates for such assistance, as they are ineligible for such relief. Illegal aliens should not be included in the tally of potential aid beneficiaries. The only people in those totals should be U.S. citizens as well as legal immigrants who rang America’s doorbell and asked to enter, rather than those who penetrated the border and burst into the homeland.

The Democrats who misgovern America’s sanctuary cities and fugitive states should not be rewarded for destroying this country’s borders and waving in these 8.8 million illegals under Biden, and perhaps the same or double that number in previous years. Counting illegal aliens for apportionment gives these radical-Left cities and states more legislative seats than they otherwise would have earned. (RELATED: The Sanctuary State Confederacy)

This also opens the spigots even wider, for more federal cash, based on population figures fattened with the bodies of illegal aliens. This perverse incentive must vanish, so that these Democrat thugs do not wield greater political power and score more federal cash as bonuses for their border demolition and near-erotic embrace of these illegal-alien hordes.

If Democrats want to defend this disgusting racket, let them. They will finally expose themselves as the party that obliterated the southern border and vacuumed illegal aliens into America to boost their numbers for apportionment, federal outlays, and — eventually — millions more ballots from grateful illegals, should they ever achieve amnesty, citizenship, and the vote. While rare, more aggressive illegal aliens appear to have voted in previous elections.

Democrats are welcome to applaud all of this in public. Their already plunging public approval will speed even more swiftly to the floor.

Also, the Republican Congress should immediately enact a law that excludes illegal aliens from every future Census and permanently restores the question “Is this person a CITIZEN of the United States?” That simple query appeared on each decennial Census, conducted under Democrat and Republican presidents, between 1820 and 2000. In 2010, Obama deleted the citizenship question, thereby signaling Democrats’ lust for the institutional skullduggery that now defines their party.

Rather than a racist plot that’s “worse than Hitler,” as Democrats oh-so-predictably will bellow, Republicans on Capitol Hill simply would restore the status quo ante Obama, and include the very same citizenship question posed in the Census forms issued by those famous white nationalists Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, and Franklin Roosevelt.

Since the days of non-insane Democrats, like Clinton, the Donkey Party started this Census abuse.

Republicans, weaker than those in charge today, were too scared of their own shadows to stop it. Alas, Trump 45’s Justice Department overthought and overlawyered its defense of the Census’s citizenship question, when the Left litigated Trump’s efforts to restore it in 2020. A thoroughly confounded U.S. Supreme Court could make neither heads nor tails of the administration’s convoluted, needlessly baffling brief. So, maddeningly, it sided with Trump haters, and Obama’s corrupt ban on the citizenship question continued.

Americans should be grateful that President Trump is finally booting illegal aliens from the Census — as well he should — and not a second too soon.

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Deroy Murdock is a Manhattan-based Fox News Contributor.