Once Again, There’s A Problem For Men That Women Are Making About Themselves

Once again, there’s a problem for men that women are making about themselves.

Men are neck deep in a loneliness epidemic, much of which has to do with male spaces disappearing or no longer being frequented as often as they were in the past. The workplace, churches, social clubs, and bars are no longer places where men gather to casually socialize and build friendships. And even if they do congregate, settings that were once made only for men have been feminized, made to be inclusive to women, usually because they were viewed as sexist and antiquated. (Subscribe to MR. RIGHT, a free weekly newsletter about modern masculinity)

A New York Times write-up on Monday shows that women are now trying to make this serious problem about themselves, popularizing the term “mankeeping” to vent about their frustration of having to do “all the emotional labor” in relationships. Due to a lack of male friendships, women are now tasked with *checks notes* having to talk with their husbands about *checks notes* their emotions.

Hi!

Our new paper is out 🚨

MANKEEPING names the invisible care work that many women do to:

1) support men’s mental health
2) cultivate better social support systems for men
3) teach men social & emotional skills that many women develop through rich friendships

FULL TEXT⬇️ pic.twitter.com/Po7N8rSGgK

— Angelica Ferrara (@angeliferrara) October 21, 2024

Mankeeping, as The Times defines it, “describes the work women do to meet the social and emotional needs of the men in their lives, from supporting their partners through daily challenges and inner turmoil, to encouraging them to meet up with their friends.”

Yeah, that’s what normal people would call being in a committed relationship.

What do people expect when they get into one, or take it a step further and marry? Do they think they can simply offshore the hard, emotional labor to therapists and friends?

One of the greatest things about being married is that you and your spouse can always lean on each other in tough times and grow together by being vulnerable. When one half is down, the other half helps lift. When both are down, you stand up together. You can’t skip this part and expect others to do it for you, and if you do, you might as well be single. (RELATED: Why Dolly Parton’s Unknown Husband Should Be A Popular Legend)

This goes for men as much as it does for women. A husband cannot expect his wife’s friends to handle all of her emotional needs. He also must be there for her, and stay strong and positive when life isn’t easy.

“Mankeeping” going viral is but the latest example of a modern pitfall: completely normal behavior, such as men relying on their wives or girlfriends as emotional ballasts, ends up pathologized by therapists, psychologists, and media outlets like The New York Times. Something that is completely normal is now suddenly a problem.