Reform Has Changed Everything And Now Runs PMQs Without Saying Anything – Guido Fawkes

Not one single mention of the local elections in today’s PMQs. 

There was no reason for either of the Ks to give the results airplay – both leaders were shown to be catastrophic losers, both reviled by their voter base, both seeing their supporters quietly dispersing into the UK archipelago of identity and interest groups.

The elephant in the room sat up there in the benches opposite. Outside of cartoons, it’s rare to actually see the actual elephant. For the record, he was a very jolly jumbo – beaming, chuckling, occasionally drifting off. He must be wondering how he would – or, will – manage up there at the despatch box.

Just to croak a mortal warning in their hour of triumph, Reform might try this thought experiment. Today, who said of whom across the despatch boxes. “They completely failed. Costs went through the roof. Timelines were shredded. False promises were made.” 

Was it K1 of K2? Was it vice versa? Or was it K1 of K3, the shortest-lived Chancellor in modern history?

The answer is, it doesn’t matter. What was it about? That doesn’t matter either. It could have been any leader of any opposition in the last decade and will be said of any leader of any other in the next decade – including our magnificent elephants. And there will always be enough truth in it to justify making the charge.

On entry to the Chamber, both Ks were greeted with pantomime cheers from their supporters. Losing 600 council seats? They were not down-hearted, no! Go further, faster, with added fury.

K1 started bravely, drawing strength from our half million war dead as he patriotically tipped us off about VE celebrations tomorrow and “the values we stand for”. After last week’s results, he won’t be surprised to know that if he declares any war against China, Russia or Iran, a full third of the country will be rooting for the other side. 

As the occasion developed, the PM’s bravura failed to keep up, quite. Face reddening, manner deteriorating, wild and whirling words came tumbling out of him. He seemed part-exasperated, part-incredulous at the lack of gratitude out there for his government’s achievements. The historic trade deal with India. Stabilising the economy. His offer to pensioners (yes, the triple lock is safe). And the £22 billion black hole? That was brought out and greeted with affectionate cheers from both sides, an old friend.

But can it really be maintained that “No other party is focused on the long-term prosperity of the country?” 

Or that the Conservatives have “never backed Britain” and aren’t “patriotic”?

Isn’t that the sort of thing that hard-pressed politicians trapped in a bunker say to each other? Is Keir Starmer entering his bunker just shy of a year of his election? 

Wes Streeting was looking particularly handsome a few seats to the left. 

K2 in her best performance to date began by punching the Winter Fuel Allowance bruise, then segued neatly into Ed Miliband’s promise to reduce energy bills by £300, and thence into the UK having the most expensive electricity in Europe while shedding energy jobs needlessly and wastefully. 

While she didn’t leave him properly denounced (we needed Stephen Flynn for that), she prompted him into articulating the logic behind the Renewables project, making him say it out loud. 

Every time we hear it now, the more absurd it sounds. 

Trump and now Farage have changed everything.

Keir had to say that opposition to net zero is “anti-growth, anti-jobs and anti-working people.” 

It’s a direct quote. It’s on the record. 

He said that we were liberating our economy from “fossil fuel dictators” (the US is our main supplier of gas). And that the only way, “the only way to get bills down is to go to renewable energy.” 

Er, with all our renewables successes, how much is a kW of domestic electricity, again?

“The global race is on for the jobs of the future and Britain will win that race!”

The largest operator in the North Sea is pulling out. A large ceramics business has shut down. Any big company dependent on electricity is struggling. The electric vehicle mandate is crushing the motor industry, SMRs aren’t happening on account of a daft tendering process. And the more renewables we have, the higher electricity prices climb.

This, at least, is what the elephants in the room would have said, had they had a chance to speak. The smallest parliamentary party, but currently the most successful, will get a 45-second turn on the floor of the House in five or six weeks’ time.

At that point, they will already be in a position to say the words that have a claim to be incorporated into our national anthem: 

“False promises were made. Costs went through the roof. Timelines were shredded. They completely failed.”