SANDOVAL: Starbucks Workers Upset They Can’t Look Like Actual Goblins Anymore 

Good news for those planning a Starbucks run in the coming months: You can expect to be mildly less assailed by the appearance of the barista behind the counter. 

Starbucks announced a new dress code to be implemented May 12: solid black shirts and khaki, black, or blue denim bottoms, in addition to the traditional green apron. This slight imposition comes as an upset to legions of sexually ambiguous coffee-slingers everywhere. 

“This new dress code hurts workers,” the Starbucks Workers Union wrote in an infographic posted to X. “Starbucks workers are racially diverse, disabled, queer, and trans. We need a dress code that allows us to show up as our full selves at work … [the new dress code] restricts the gender expression of queer and trans workers, potentially forcing trans workers into dysphoria-inducing clothes.” 

Starbucks just announced a significantly more conservative dress code, instead of finalizing fair contracts and addressing actual issues like understaffing and lack of guaranteed hours.

Our union has been fighting for a contract that expands the dress code. pic.twitter.com/JJFHCDkEqi

— Starbucks Workers United (@SBWorkersUnited) April 14, 2025

Assume “xeir” premise for a second. Imagine waking up as a dysphoric, disabled, queer, and trans Starbucks barista. You go to put on your corporate-mandated khaki pants, only to be overcome with paralyzing anxiety as you zip up your fly, leaving you literally shaking as you attempt to whip up coffee-flavored milkshakes. 

Truly a nightmarish existence.

The Starbucks Workers Union also posted a video to their X account of an apparent employee protesting the changes. The employee is wearing a t-shirt which appears to read “Trans rights are labor rights” ringing a blue, pink, and white version of the Starbucks logo. 

Starbucks workers across the country are facing understaffing, inaccessible benefits, discrimination, & low wages.

Instead of fixing these issues, $Sbux decided to introduce an unpopular, more conservative dress code.

Union baristas in Seattle marched on management in response. pic.twitter.com/6qzkx1WPth

— Starbucks Workers United (@SBWorkersUnited) April 29, 2025

“I don’t understand how that’s in good faith of letting us express ourselves,” the worker says. 

Unvarnished narcissism is always difficult to behold. The effete liberal barista is a stereotype rooted in reality, apparently. One is almost roused to pity by the sight of such horribly misled people — what gave them the impression customers do, or should, care to witness their “full selves”? 

CEO Brian Niccol, who assumed control of the company last August, has plans to reestablish the brand as “the community coffeehouse.” This involves “elevating the in-store experience — ensuring our spaces reflect the sights, smells and sounds that define Starbucks.” The current sights, smells, and sounds which define Starbucks are best imagined as a “belligerent homeless man sprawled across three seats.” The company quietly moved to remove customer seating in numerous San Francisco locations, according to The San Francisco Standard, a move speculated to be in response to increasing incidents with local homeless. 

Bleh.

I’ve been noticing a lot of SF Starbucks are getting rid of seating. It’s awful to see. It feels super classist and ableist. 😒

— fiirewalkwithme.bluesky (@FiireWalkWithMe) March 22, 2023

These are the fruits of anomie. A small contingent of people make life worse for everyone, and instead of locking them up, all of society is fashioned into a large-scale prison. A formerly unspoken code of civility is at once supplanted by a growing body of explicit rules and new implicit ones: don’t make eye contact with the person screaming bloody murder on the subway, don’t ask the person playing loud music in a public space if they wouldn’t mind putting in headphones. (RELATED: Starbucks Closing One Of Its Flagship Locations As Crime Overtakes Founding City) 

Still, it’s good to see Starbucks mandate their employees show up in semi-presentable fashion. If only a similar dress code could be instituted nationwide. No pajamas in public, please. 

Follow Natalie Sandoval on X: @NatalieIrene03