Standing on top of the White House and taking questions from reporters may have been the funniest way President Trump made news yesterday, but it wasn’t the only way.
Over on Truth Social, the President also made waves by calling out the rampant crime in Washington, DC, and warning that he might federalize the city if steps weren’t taken immediately to prosecute criminals, even if they are minors, and bring an end to DC’s lawlessness.
🚨BREAKING: President Trump threatens to SEIZE CONTROL of Washington, DC:
“Local ‘youths’ and gang members, some only 14, 15, and 16-years-old, are randomly attacking, mugging, maiming, and shooting innocent Citizens, at the same time knowing that they will be almost immediately… pic.twitter.com/dkG9jQkrm8
— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) August 5, 2025
Trump wasn’t wrong about any of that. This writer lives near the nation’s capital and can confirm that the city is not far removed from the post-apocalyptic world of the Mad Max movies, especially at night and on the weekends. It truly is lawless, not because there aren’t enough police, but because those police are not allowed to do their jobs.
Still, it was a bit mystifying why Trump wanted to bring this up yesterday. Rampant crime in DC isn’t exactly a new problem.
But one line in the middle of his Truth Social post gave us a clue as to his timing: ‘The most recent victim was beaten mercilessly by thugs.’
Trump did not provide any more details in his post, but it wasn’t long before Elon Musk shed some light about who that victim was: a DOGE staffer.
A few days ago, a gang of about a dozen young men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in DC.
A @Doge team member saw what was happening, ran to defend her and was severely beaten to the point of concussion, but he saved her.
It is time to federalize DC. pic.twitter.com/RPHKj7J3ti
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 5, 2025
And it wasn’t just any DOGE staffer. Last night, we found out that it was the legendary ‘Big Balls’ himself, Ed Coristine.
WOW. The @DOGE employee who was brutally beaten in DC for defending a woman has been identified as none other than “BIG BALLS”
Big Balls is a HERO! pic.twitter.com/qokF1cj6fn
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) August 5, 2025
Big Balls isn’t just a hero. He might be a superhero.
As Musk noted above, Coristine himself was beaten badly, but he did save the woman he assisted from receiving an equally brutal beating … or worse.
Suddenly, Trump’s timing for threatening to federalize DC made all the sense in the world. Regardless of any feud between himself and Musk (which seems to have dissipated), Trump recognized Coristine’s service not only to the federal government and the American people but to his fellow man. Or woman, in this case.
He spoke again about the assault last night.
TRUMP ON BIG BALLS: “Somebody from @DOGE was very badly hurt last night… young man who was beat up by a bunch of thugs in DC. Either they’re going to straighten their act out or we’re going to have to federalize and run it the way it’s supposed to be run”pic.twitter.com/INfrRUJYw4
— ALX 🇺🇸 (@alx) August 5, 2025
When X found out his identity, the praise for ‘Big Balls’ began pouring in.
DOGE: Edward Coristine, known affectionately as “Big Balls”, is a patriot. He was ambushed by a mob of eight black teens, part of the unchecked chaos our ruling class in Washington DC has endorsed. This isn’t just lawlessness, it’s sanctioned decay. And it’s indefensible.
— amuse (@amuse) Aug 4, 2025
It’s not just a name. https://t.co/m63X93vkBw
— Heidi (@HeidiBriones) August 6, 2025
No, ‘Big Balls’ most definitely is not just a name. Not after what he did.
It is a very fitting nickname https://t.co/luEhziKJ2l
— Lisa Boothe 🇺🇸 (@LisaMarieBoothe) August 6, 2025
DESERVES THE PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!
WHAT A GUY!!!!
THIS IS WHAT A MAN LOOKS LIKE!!!!
– gives up high paying job to SAVE US MONEY
– demonized in the media
– does it anyways
– SAVES A WOMAN FROM ASSAULT FROM 8 MEN?!!!!!GOD BLESS BIG BALLS!!!!!!!!!
— Matt Van Swol (@matt_vanswol) August 5, 2025
Instead of the traditional Medal of Freedom, one person had another idea for the medal Coristine should receive from the President.
The only medal that makes sense for big balls 😂 pic.twitter.com/6Z5s9o78tE
— Politi_Rican 🇵🇷 𝕏 🇺🇸 (@TheRicanMemes) August 6, 2025
HA.
OK, that’s pretty funny.
But we don’t want it to take away from Coristine’s act of bravery and chivalry.
He is a HERO https://t.co/ok8gYSXSVW
— Riley Gaines (@Riley_Gaines_) August 5, 2025
Edward Coristine (aka BIG BALLS) deserves an award for heroism. He took on 8 thugs at once to stop them from assaulting a woman. If this ends with a federal takeover of DC then he’s an even bigger hero. Has a nickname ever been a better fit? @realDonaldTrump, put a medal on him! https://t.co/BebhjwXaIv
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) August 6, 2025
Leftists on social media, legacy media hacks, and Democrat politicians spent MONTHS belittling Coristine because of his nickname and because he was trying to reduce waste and fraud in the federal government.
It turns out that he is more of a man than any of them could ever hope to be.
You never know until it happens whether you will stand up or stand back.
Now we know about big balls, and his… fortitude.
👍🏼
— Jason “Storm Chaser” Nelson (@RealJasonNelson) August 5, 2025
Pray for this hero. ‘Big Balls’ is literally a Hero for saving a woman from getting assaulted 🙏 pic.twitter.com/lew5PskByD
— MAGA Voice (@MAGAVoice) August 5, 2025
We haven’t seen an update yet this morning on Coristine’s medical status, but we hope he will have a speedy recovery.
And something tells us that Musk will make sure the young man never wants for anything for the rest of his life.
If I ever run into this guy, I’m buying him a drink.
— Brick Suit (@Brick_Suit) August 5, 2025
Technically, Coristine isn’t even old enough to drink, but to hell with that. We’d buy him a drink anyway.
As for federalizing DC, we don’t know if it will actually happen, but it certainly got Trump’s attention enough that we hope some major reforms in the city will come very quickly.
— Dutch1777 (@dutch1777real) August 6, 2025
The attempted assault on the woman — and Coristine’s intervention to stop it — does not appear to be a politically motivated attack, but it also doesn’t help matters that Democrats have been encouraging street violence every day since Trump was elected.
We’re just grateful that, in this case, a true hero was on the scene, in the form of a 19-year-old DOGE whiz kid who just happens to have the most appropriate nickname we could ever imagine.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them just like to call themselves ‘Big Balls’.
And no one can ever laugh at or mock that nickname again, not even a little bit.
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Editor’s Note: Crime in the nation’s capital is out of control, and Democrats make it worse by inciting violence and refusing to punish criminals.
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