Yikes: Miami Dolphins Play What Has To Be All-Time Worst Half In NFL History

Consider me just a Hurricanes fan this year … this is atrocious.

Under head coach Mike McDaniel, the Miami Dolphins were once known for their flash-and-dash offense. Wide receivers Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, as well as running back De’Von Achane, were all putting up eye-popping plays at one point. And quarterback Tua Tagovailoa was doing his thing as well.

But all that’s in the past and now my Dolphins are pure ass, and that was on full display Sunday in Miami’s first contest of the new season against the Indianapolis Colts. From Tua to Tyreek to Mike’s coaching, everything was dreadful. (RELATED: Because Of Course Dysfunctional New York Jets Had Somebody Get Stuck On American Flag)

The Phins were getting thrashed so bad that they went into halftime down, 20-0. (They’d end up losing, 33-8)

With the team’s supposed leader in Tagovailoa, he was absolutely dreadful as he turned the ball over not once, but twice within the first 30 minutes of action. And it was 100% his fault on both turnovers.

Just check out this trash (and one hell of a celebration from Colts safety Cam Bynum):

INTERCEPTION FOR 0️⃣

📺CBS pic.twitter.com/SUmJgFkd6Z

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) September 7, 2025

Cam’s first celly of the season.@budlight | #easytocelebrate pic.twitter.com/LF7wfO3BMs

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) September 7, 2025

Kenny Moore II strip sack! And Xavien Howard recovers against his former team#MIAvsIND on CBS/Paramount+https://t.co/HkKw7uXVnt pic.twitter.com/N6FHZE1WlG

— NFL (@NFL) September 7, 2025

Seeing the field three times in the first half, Miami’s offense only managed to put up 43 yards — 43 yards!

And it wasn’t just the Dolphins’ offense who crapped the bed, their defense also did a splendid job of doing that. I mean, hell, they had failed New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones out here looking like he was the second coming of Peyton Manning.

In the first half, Jones was flawless throwing for 197 yards and one touchdown off 17-0f-22 passing. And to make it even crazier, Jones and his offense had more first downs with 17 than Miami had total offensive plays with 15.

Daniel Jones to Michael Pittman Jr. connection!#MIAvsIND on CBS/Paramount+https://t.co/HkKw7uXVnt pic.twitter.com/PYMcl8DT11

— NFL (@NFL) September 7, 2025

And don’t even get me started on the special teams … who had a blunder that led to a Colts score … I’m done with this team!